COLLAGE
(2000-2001)
1.
Measures
2.
Ubiquitous
3.
Alone
4.
[I get your message straight…]
5.
Queen Of Sin
6.
The Night
7.
You
8.
Painkiller
9.
Guide
10. Geese
11. Rush
the doctors won't measure
what they cannot see
they won't get access
to my hopes and dreams
the maths teachers cannot make
equations of my fears
the scientists can only sum
the volume of my tears
my innermost thoughts
are not to see
but, here you are - friend
it's written for thee.
Stop haunting
me, please!
Get out of my
dreams!
You're in the
air that I breathe,
You hold my hand
when I sleep,
You whisper
words that I write,
You are my sword
to protect, to fight.
You're in my
prayer to the morning sun,
In sweet white
coffee that I love to taste.
You're the
missing last page in a thrilling crime story,
And a fresh
green morning after a night fire of glory.
A forbidden
thought I pretend not to cherish,
Which gives me
strength and ties up my hands.
You let me fly
high, but you steal my wings,
Without them I
cannot run away.
Alone again--
Lovely evenings with a bottle of wine
Only favourite music, candles' dim light
Nothing to complain or worry about
Every possible deed's justified by
passing time
Alone again--
Glorious silence of strength tells me to
shut up
And swallow the words I'd like to scream
out
In my empty room your absence grows like
a ghost-
Nothing's, however, going to happen
anyway this night
Tried to sleep, so tired of life
Of false happiness, of the pain inside
Never have I wanted to be a fake like
that
Ignore what I say, I am not myself --
once again.
Going to survive some-
How
This another lonely night.
I get your
message straight
but it's not me
who's stolen the
key
to your thoughts
and dreams
you've done it
yourself
secretly
smuggling
through words
and lines
sent direct to
me
you've always
stood so close beside,
with thoughts so
distant and so far away-
not close enough
to read my face, my lips-
to see my hands
tremble with fear-
to get the
wireless message they send-
W-I-S-H--Y-O-U--W-E-R-E--H-E-R-E
crowned with red hair, ruby lips,
dress as tight as second skin,
you can't get your eyes off her-
there she comes - the Queen of Sin.
drowned in heaven, she is yours now,
in the ballroom you are in,
dancing here within your arms,
there she is, the Queen of Sin.
velvet red was every step
like the blood under her skin,
swirling to the beat of hearts-
later vanished Queen of Sin.
saw her when she span and shone,
her smile evil, crimson, mean,
she danced- yet another one
was close to the Queen of Sin.
with too good a memory,
the heroin of a poor film,
in a bed too vast to sleep
cries alone now Queen of Sin.
won't forget you even though
your namecard is in the bin
she just cannot let you close
'cause she is the Queen of Sin.
stained with pride and greed for freedom,
seduces and forgets the sin,
then she tries so much to remember
when her conscience was still clean.
the world kept
knocking at the shut window
first once, then
twice and thousand times
when we stayed
there inside your cave
as black as
coal, as dark as that night
I confided in
you my dreams and hopes,
in there I
smiled, I thought, I made
my own strange
self of scattered pieces;
there you had
helped me be myself
the night so
short, your room closed tight,
even the wind
did not get inside,
I could not
simply leave it - so I stayed-
what's gone is
just some lonely phantom
it hurts so much
not being there
but that's the
feeling I wanted
so the pain is a
blessing
in my mind I'm
still there and the night goes on---
there you have
my thoughts
you owe me a
penny
You make me say things
I desperately wanted to hear,
You yourself say the words
I longed for for so long, my dear,
For you it was easy to let me believe
That I truly deserve my name,
And that life is to be taken as it comes,
And not to be played like a game.
Almost year has passed since that tumultuous day
When I forgot how to laugh,
How to react to "Cheer up!",
Going on with each and every muscle tense
Like a desperate man just before the last jump.
And now that I've found the stronger inner light
I ask myself quite often
How to end this stupid fight.
Then I'm going to take
A deep relieving breath,
Inhale the morning breeze,
And send my enemies to fools' paradise
To bore to death and freeze...
I'd looked in
every nook and cranny
To find a
painkiller for my soul;
I looked in
Heaven, I searched the Hell -
I travelled so
long around the world
I found it close
- too far-sighted I'd been
And then I saw
you standing there for me.
Now, watching
the clouds passing, taking various shapes,
I don't expect
the rain
'Cause the sun's
stroking my face.
The moment I
entered your life
You let me feel
relief
The pain has
gone away -
For you I live
and breathe…
I told my heart - my guide -
Well, dear, thy will be done -
I tasted and swallowed my pride,
And celebrated what others would mourn.
You lit a bright torch in the dark
To show me the way, to reveal the truth -
This lonely and blackened planet of mine
Moved a bit first; then started
Revolving around you.
little geese
giggling, peacocking around
with colourful
make-up and summer clothes
are showing off
with their beauty yet to come
together with
tears and first sleepless nights.
their twittering
topics keep moving the air
of careless
stuffy holiday flavour.
laughing and
smiling are to conceal their wisdom.
that beauty is
wisdom's for them yet to know.
keep running
keep thinking
don't stop when you're so close
keep trying
keep moving
it's not gonna wait for you
keep going
keep fixing
no one's gonna do it for you
keep chasing
keep rushing
one more step closer
to the horizon ---
the peace of your mind